Valentimes Day Cards for non-suckers

Is love pooing in your heart and making you believe that you enjoy your shit-filled arteries? Here’s some cards that might suit you better than whatever Hallmark is doing these days.

Valentimes card 1

Wait, like The Walking Dead or… Real Housewives. Whatever your answer is basically determines ‘soulmate’ status.

1. 

2. 

valentimes card 2

POETRY

 

3.

Pleasurable?

Pleasurable?

 

4.

GODDAMNIT, MOVE MOGGY. PAPA NEEDS A NEW BLENDER.

GODDAMNIT, MOVE MOGGY. PAPA NEEDS A NEW BLENDER.

 

5.

And you are with me <3

And you are with me ❤

 

Check out some more Valentimes Day Cards that I did a few years ago. Bleak.

Advertisements