Bob Katter

The snarling, atavistic voice of the Australian people: provided those people live on farms in Queensland and don’t enjoy sodomy, immigration or a lack of greenhouse gases.

THE STARS:

After the political upheaval that was the hung parliament of Australian politics, the balance of power somehow got passed to the hands of an eccentric band of misfits known as the Independents. Bound together only by their inability to agree with anyone else about anything, their presence in mainstream politics has been like a breath of weird air.

And that’s where Bob Katter comes in.

There’s a chance I don’t believe in you.

There’s a big part of me that really enjoys the sheer batshit insanity that his presence entails. The other part of me is a traumatised and whimpering ball that is sad for my country of origin. The fact that we have to seriously listen to a man who threw eggs at the Beatles and who flat out refuses the existence of homosexuals in north Queensland is a tier of absurdity rarely scaled. However the most absurd part of the Katter phenomenon is that I trust him more than Tony Abbott. I mean, he’s the kind of crazy where you can predict to an extent what he is going to be crazy about. Abbott is just a snake.

LACK OF STARS:

If the eighties taught me anything, it’s that the people dressed like cowboys are usually minor characters with bad accents and a lack of anything resembling character development.

I love the episode where Helicopter Pilot confronts his fear of lakes
and also goes in search of  his alcoholic mother.

During the eighties, Katter was one of the cronies of Joh Bjelke-Petersen, the Undying Lich Lord of Queensland. Their dread government helped inflict conservative politics on the state for decades. Some say Bjelke-Petersen will rise again. Some say he never died. Others believe he lives on in Pauline Hanson’s womb.
But the fact is, that the Mad Katter was clearly one of those situations where a minor character outlives the main villain, and then is quickly forced to develop into a real human being. Clearly this meant seven layers of insanity.
And now that he is rising to fill the dread throne of Petersen, he has begun gathering his own sinister force, under the banner of ‘Katter’s Australian Party’. Villains from around Australia are slowly pledging their support.
And the question on everybody’s lips: where is Batman in our time of need?

THE SCORE:
1/5 stars. He may be crazy and evil, but maybe rural Australia needs a crazy evil voice to stand up for them in their time of need. They are suffering many, many plagues. I may be a latte sipping inner-city vest wearing phoney, but I’ve seen Landline.

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6 thoughts on “Bob Katter

  1. "The Spontaneity Review will rate things at the drop of a hat. It will review the hat."And what a hat is the one that adorns the crown of Mr Katter. The hat alone receives a significant 3/5 from this anonymous reviewer.

  2. ANONYMOUS 1: According to my system, Bob Katter's hat would then be the same rank as the toothbrush, washing up and the Roman Empire. I think that's a good call.ANONYMOUS 2: That imagine brought tears to my eyes, sir.

  3. I quite like 'Uncle' Bob Katter and the reason I like him is because of his passion for his cause and his sincerity. Crazy? Yes. Probably a good half of the time. Evil? Definitely not. Misguided is probably a better word. I rate him 3 stars: 1 for the passion, 1 for the sincerity and 1 for not giving a fuck what anyone thinks of him. If every Aussie had those 3 attributes we'd have a GREAT country, not just a pretty bloody good one

  4. ''If every Aussie had those 3 attributes we'd have a GREAT country, not just a pretty bloody good one''Yes lets have more uneducated narrow minded people influencing our cultural and political landscape. What could possibly go wrong.

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