The Milk War

There is a Milk War going on in Australia at the moment, and it’s as THRILLING as it sounds. After days of captioning Landline, Four Corners and more, I’ve decided it’s my duty that the world needs to know exactly what’s going on.

THE STARS:

COLES uses CURTIS STONE. WOOLWORTHS counters with JINGLE.

Woolworths and Coles have played their hands by dramatically lowering the price of milk in their stores. These are two grocery giants dealing each other mighty blows. And while this may, to the naked eye, seem like a good thing.

Lactose: TOLERANT.

There’s an untold story.

LACK OF STARS:

With such dramatic price cuts as these, Australia’s rural dairy farmers are finding their profits udderly devastated. Cow can these small-time producers hope to graze enough funds to match prices with the big bulls of the industry? Cud the answer be in new government regulations? Probably, but the farmers are failing to steer the government in the right direction. Certain MP’s are certainly trying as hard as they can on becalf of the dairy farmers, but everybody knows they are just one voice trying to be herd.

FARMER: You know, we have to wank that things tits
for a certain amount of money in order to survive.

THE SCORE

1/5 stars. Cheap milk is pretty good for my precious bones.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “The Milk War

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s