The Roman Empire

Was chatting to my housemate, and he was talking about how much he loves pizza. Before he went off to the sewers to fight Shredder, I mentioned that pizza was the greatest gift that the Italian’s have ever given us. And then I modified that with, well except maybe the Roman Empire. We both looked confused. And since then, i’ve been thinking far too hard about it all, but doing absolutely no research.

THE STARS
I love history. If I was trying to advertise for history, the slogan would be ‘You can’t make this shit up’.
 I liked history so much when I was a kid, my list of things I wanted to be when I grew up was ‘Archaeologist, Wizard or Writer’. Of course, I didn’t realise that you didn’t get a Wookie when you became an Archaeologist.

HOLY SHITCATS, IS THAT THE ROSETTA STONE!?!?!?

2 stars for Julius Caesar. Caesar was so goddamn badass, that not only did he turn the Republic into an Empire, he started the world-wide medical craze of ripping babies out of their wombs via the stomachs. I can only imagine it’s because he was impatient, and nobody makes Caesar impatient. Et tu Brutus, et tu. My Latin isn’t perfect, but I think that means ‘You haven’t heard the last of me’.
Another star for aqueducts. Yep. I still laugh, because they make me think of ducks that carry water.

LACK OF STARS

Russel Crowe. I might as well blame the Roman’s on him.

Urghhh.

THE STARS:

3/5 stars

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5 thoughts on “The Roman Empire

  1. "All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?""Brought peace?""Oh, peace – shut up!"I say 5 stars just for Life of Brian.

  2. The Life of Brian certainly does deserve 5 stars. I'd consider bumping up another star for that argument… hmm. What do people think about democratic voting? Maybe if it's an overwhelming popular surge.

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