The Stairwell

It’s a well of stairs!
One of the more evocative words in the English language, I’m giving it a whole star for such an awesome image inspiring word use. I’m giving it yet another star, because the movie ‘The Ring’ would have been a lot less creepy and a whole lot more confusing if that girl had been thrown down a stairwell. Finally, another whole two stars are awarded to the stairwell for being such a steadfast and potent enemy against my ancient enemy gravity. Curse you gravity!
I have to minus a single star, because every time I see the word ‘stairwell’ I imagine something called a ‘Stare-Well’ which looks something like this.

First person who blinks loses their spleen.

Which looks vaguely cute in a ‘lazy Pixar’ way. Until you think about one of those under the table that faces your bed. Until you realise it’s watching your facial expressions in the rearview mirror while you sing along excessively loud to Bowie’s ‘Lady Starlight’. Until you realise this:

(Heavy breathing)


4/5 stars


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