Gravity

An irresistible force? Not to me.

STARS:

We all know what life is like WITH gravity. Unless you are Neil Armstrong, who used to live on the moon, we are all familiar with its clammy hands constantly keeping us mired to the earth. However, despite my age old enmity with gravity, I have to award a grudging star to gravity because of how awkward dinner parties would be without it.

No one ever thanks the basic laws of existence for our fine dining experiences.

LACK OF STARS:

We are traditional creatures by nature, the human race. If it wasn’t for the aliens infiltrating our government at every level, we’d still be happily lighting mammoths on fire and calling it progress. That’s why we have to use our creative faculties to imagine exactly the potential we would have if we freed ourselves from gravity’s iron yoke.

“Hey Nick, mind if I get a lift to work?” “No problem, hop on buddy!”

That’s right. The car pooling system would become defunct. You ever need to teach some school children what the definition of the word ‘utopia’ is? Just point them at that picture. Heaven on earth. Take away the fancy head gear, and that’s almost exactly what Adam and Eve were doing in the garden of Eden.

In a gravity free society, we carry our chairs with us.

Yeah, and my final point about why gravity deserves very few stars?
WE WOULD GET TO WEAR TUXEDOES EVERY DAY.

THE SCORE:

1 star
*

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3 thoughts on “Gravity

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