Captions: No more!

A collection of my top 20 weird captions from my time in the business.

As some of you may know, I’ve just been hired by Allen and Unwin publishers, much to my infernal delight! Fucking hoo-rah! I really am over excited.

And today I am currently doing my last EVER Sunday shift at captions. I’ve been captioning at the ABC for three years now, and I’ve had a pretty decent time. Very excited to be leaving shift work. Very excited never to have to caption Giggle and Hoot again. In my time here, I’ve collected shots of weird captions and supers that I’ve seen on the TV’s around here. Some of these are genuine mistakes that have gone to air, often by our company. Most are what’s known as ‘hanging captions’ where a misplaced sentence stays on a TV screen for no good reason. It’s a technical mishap, and is often paired with hilarious images. Unfortunately I couldn’t take a photo of the best mistake I ever made, which was accidentally sending to air for South Australia’s news a sentence which should have read: ‘Penny Wong’s lesbian partner’ but which I misspelled as ‘Penny Wong’s lesbian panther’.

1.

This isn't even a mistake, this is literally just the best caption I ever got to write.

This isn’t even a mistake, this is literally just the best caption I ever got to write.

2.

Well, how do you?

Well, how do you?

3.

Umm, I think you mean 'gaze', Waleed.

Umm, I think you mean ‘gaze’, Waleed.

4.

111

Good?

5.
333

6.
444

7.
555

666

Accurate caption is accurate.

8.

888

Some really great sports reporting from one of the state news updates.

9.

999

Like optic blasts, probably.

10.

1111

Next week on ‘Leigh Sales, PI’

11.

12.
101010

13.
121212

14. 151515

15.
171717

16.
1616161

17.
14141414

18.
191919191

202020202

This is just a creepy jacket flung over a chair, not actually death come to take me.

19.

20.

"Totes"

“Totes”

Happy Sturgeon General day!

Patrick Lenton:

Hey folks – so the anthology of comedy writing I’ve been working on is out! You can buy The Sturgeon General and because you’re all lovers of humour, I highly recommend you do so. I’ve given some of my own thoughts on the collections here, so have a gander. Remember, they’re all cheap as free: $1.99.

Originally posted on The Sturgeon General:

You can now buy all five issues of The Sturgeon General.

What do you get when you pick up an issue of The Sturgeon General? Apart from the thrill of supporting new Australian writing of course. Let’s have a gander. Also, note our amazing cover designs by the very talented Simon Greiner.

Geoff Lemon: 

The Sturgeon General Recommends Geoff Lemon

Geoff Lemon is the editor of literary anthology Going Down Swinging and blogger at Heathen Scripture. His writing in The Sturgeon General includes travel essays and political rants. I love Geoff’s writing – it’s easy to see that in between moonlighting as all these other things, he is primarily a poet. Each word and sentence he writes is meticulously crafted and selected with precision. And luckily for us, he uses these skills to make us laugh. Geoff’s article ‘You shut your goddamn carbon-taxin’ mouth’ on Heathen Scripture went viral in 2011, and is included in this…

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